THE FESTIVE SOLDIERS: The Festive Soldiers was the episodic drawn-on-looseleaf comic series that I started in 8th grade and kept doing until probably junior year of high school, although by that point it had gotten extremely lame. I mean lamer than it is in and of itself.

What follows are original, pre-2002 (probably 2000) descriptions of each issue of The Festive Soldiers. I was going to update them, but I think they speak for themselves.


[Click for a Picture] This was my first Sailor B. Comic, titled (for some reason) "Jumpin' Jack Flash"...I have no clue why. At any rate, nothing much happens in this comic, but it's still hilarious to this day. Interesting Points: Bobby and Goliath are both introduced, both transform...Luna is tied up on top of Castle Wyvern.

[Click for a picture] #1:"An Appetite for Evil!" This comic centered around Mrs. Fussell, our 8th grade science substitute. (Remember her?) Interesting points: Bobby and Goliath do their first attacks.

[Click for a picture] #2:"The Final Romance" or "The Beginning of Rrrr" Majorly screwed up comic, I don't know what I was thinking...basically Goliath goes to Chicago to fight his own emotions. Interesting points: Savage Dragon and Begonia Man are introduced.

[Click for a picture] #3:"Talk Show Follies" or "Who is REALLY Jerry Springer?" Bobby and Goliath go on Jerry Springer. Interesting points: Uhh...lots of cross-dressing and Jerry Springer gets eaten...

[Click for a picture] #4:"Hello! Nurse Asteroid" Goliath dresses up as a nurse to rid the world from evil.Interesting points: Bobby turns into a monster, Goliath gets a wand that heals people.

[Click for a picture] #5:"There's No Business Like Show Business" or "Beware the Corpse" Bobby makes his theatrical debut and meets a suspicious old woman... Interesting points: First appearance of the hideous Mme. Corpse.

[Click for a picture] #6:"Want to Get Thin? Bobby Will Show You How!" or "Asteroid's Diet" Evil shows up at a weight-loss clinic. Interesting points: Goliath wears an outfit similar to Jackie O.'s!

[Click for a picture] #7:"Indiscretion" or "The Festive Soldiers Face a Bad-Mannered Public Servant" What the hell was with these long titles? At any rate, this one's a joke on the Backstreet Boys. Interesting points: Goliath and Bobby meet the BSB!

[Click for a picture] #8:"The Plot Thickens...More Trouble for the Festive Warriors" Dedicated to Paula Wang and her Evil Elmo impression. Interesting points: Bobby gets beat up by a Muppet.

[Click for a picture] #9:"The (not so) Great Outdoors" I drew this for my sister at pony camp. Interesting points: Bobby and Goliath visit my sister at camp Rim Rock.


Comics from 9th Grade...

[Click for a picture] #10:"A New Recruit" Bobby and Goliath visit a health club and discover a new Sailor! Interesting points: Dan, aka Sailor Commando, is introduced.

[Click for a picture] #11:"Mall Madness" or "Feather Boas and Pinstripes: Destiny Takes a Hand" Bobby and Goliath visit a mall, see Dan, and once again discover a new Sailor. Interesting points: Ian, aka Sailor Destiny, is introduced. Also, the Doom Baboon is in this one!!

[Click for a picture] #12:"A Sparkle of Stardom? The Festive Idol" Pith Head's debut. Interesting points: The Everpopular Pith Head (aka Sailor Energie) is introduced.

[Click for a picture] #13, Act 1:"The Hunt for Big Game!" Savage is kidnapped by Madame Corpse, so Goliath and the boys go to rescue him. Interesting points: This is the beginning of the last battle with Madame Corpse, the first of 4 acts.

[Click for a picture] #13, Act 2:"A Dark and Smelly Situation: The Soldiers Get Some Info-Mation" The Festive Soldiers enter Madame Corpse's hideout... Interesting points: A look into Goliath and Savage's past...

[Click for a picture] #13, Act 3:"A Festive Requiem" Quote: "Ian's a...princess..." Interesting points: All of the boys die. They are all revealed to be prince(sses?) of the Asteroid Belt.

[Click for a picture] #13, Act 4:"The Last Shimmering Star! Asteroid Makes Her Stand" Madame Corpse is destroyed when Goliath realizes she can summon an amazing power called "The Star of Gaiety" from her own heart. Interesting points: The long story is resolved, but the boys and Goliath wake up with no memory of any of the past events.

[Click for a picture] #14: "The Soldiers Regroup" or "A Warm and Familiar Feeling" The boys find each other, and their Sailor Soldier identities, once again. Interesting Points: First appearance of Micor, a new villian, and his henchgirl, the evil Nadiette.

[Click for a picture] #15: [untitled] In this book, Asteroid discovers that her attack doesn't work. Interesting Points: The Tango Ninja (a new hero), Small Golly (a preteen with an attitude that now lives at Goliath's townhouse), and Vickyette (a henchgirl for Micor, Nadiette's partner) are introduced.

[Click for a picture] #16:"Goliath's New Power...The Soldiers Fight for Love" Goliath finds a new power and can do a new attack! Interesting Points: Goliath uses the Star of Gaiety, which she keeps in a necklace, to transform. Her new power is "Asteroid Royal Cleavage Reaction!"...she uses the Star of Gaiety on a little wand for this.

[Click for a picture] #17: "Dan's Date" or "Why the Personals Don't Work" I love this one!! It's my favorite comic...Dan goes out on a date with the lovely Starla, who is more than what she seems...uh, a lot more. Interesting Points: The monster of the day throws Speedos for his attack.

[Click for a picture] #18: "A Big Chill" or "Fun at the Rink" Bobby, Goliath, Small Golly, and the rest of the gang go ice-skating to beat the heat...and naturally, meet up with a monster along the way. Interesting Points: First appearance of Elainina...another of Micor's henchgirls.

[Click for a picture] #19: Brenda, I'm still waiting for the first two pages to this one...anyway, it's the bikini issue. Micor and Goliath duke it out to win a swimsuit modeling contract. Interesting Points: Micor and Goliath wear bikinis...but is that interesting or disgusting?

[Click for a picture] #20: [untitled] The cast of The Festive Soldiers in a production of the Bob Fosse classic, Pippin Interesting Points: Well...uh...Bobby and the gang star in Pippin...

[Click for a picture] #21: "Swarthy Young Lads" or "Bobby Gets a Quick Trim" Bobby decides his hair is too long and feminine, so he goes to Pith Head's favorite salon to get it cut. Interesting Points: Energie gets sort of a new attack, "Energie Sparkle Whip Chain!"

[Click for a picture] #22: "Friday Night at the Townhouse" or "An Adventure in Babysitting" Goliath and Savage go on a date and Bobby is off playing strip poker with the boys, so Golly gets left home with a babysitter. Interesting Points: Golly gets thrown into some weird coma after receiving Vickyette's "Hug of Peace"

[Click for a picture] #23: "Golly's Beautiful Dream" Goliath and Bobby enter Small Golly's beautiful dream and discover she's from the future...a future with lots and lots of cross-dressing men...Interesting Points: Savage dumps Goliath, a new Sailor is introduced: Sailor Fantasy.

[Click for a picture] #24: "Fun at the Rainbow Lounge" or "Young Hearts Run Free" Goliath goes to her favorite dance club/lounge because she's bored without Savage...however, Savage had the same idea... Interesting Points: Savage and Goliath get back together, Golly dances to "Young Hearts Run Free".

[Click for a picture] #25: "Golly's Never-ending Search for Attention" or "Doing it Ian-style" Golly finds that no one pays attention to her at Goliath's townhouse, so she spends a day with Ian. Interesting Points: Golly destroys Bobby's Barbie collection!

[Click for a picture] #26: "The Wisdom of Small Goliath" or "10 Good Ways to Use an Aluminum Baseball Bat" This story basically centers around Goliath's quest to hit Savage over the head with a baseball bat. Interesting Points: Golly delves into her own past...

[Click for a picture] #27, Act 1: "Happy Mother's Day" or "Breakfast at IHOP" To celebrate Mother's Day, the gang heads over to IHOP. Golly misses her mother, so she decides to go home...Interesting Points: Sailor Fantasy appears, guarding the Door of Pride, which leads through young men's dreams (Sailor Fantasy's protectorate) and into Golly's kingdom.

[Click for a picture] #27, Act 2: "Frances" The Festive Soldiers journey into Golly's kingdom, where she is a princess...well...actually... Interesting Points: The Soldiers learn some interesting things about Golly...

[Click for a picture] #27, Act 3: "Happy Mother's Day Part III" The Festive Soldiers go off to fight Micor, who was responsible for demolishing the large part of Golly's homeland. Interesting Points: In a horrible twist of fate, Energie's pease is burned off!!!





back to the comics page

back to the main page